December 2018: An Explanation, an Anniversary, and a Party! (for boston ppl)
It’s been far too long, and I’m feeling a bit like I have some explaining to do, given that I plunged headlong into this letter writing endeavor at the beginning of the year and then dipped pretty completely into radio silence. So without further ado!
I started this out with the intention of sharing my ideas and experiences and artistic goings-on and whatnot in a way that felt intuitive and honest to me. But lo! Life is pretty crazy, and this summer something rather earth-shattering happened in my life that completely knocked me off my feet. And the time since then has been a period of immense difficulty and vulnerability and upheaval; it has called into question every aspect of my life, not to mention my relationship with my musical self. And I’m sure you can imagine that I was quite uncomfortable with the idea of processing any of that in a public setting. I still am! Nothing I tried to say about it felt honest or right; the only thing that did feel right was to not say anything at all, so that’s what I’ve been doing.
I hate being so cryptic--I hope you can forgive me. I’m still trying to figure out how to be someone who is open and forthright while also being respectful to my own sense of safety and happiness. I’ve been wanting so much to come back into the world, to share more of my heart and to reconcile myself with my surroundings again, but it felt impossible for a really long time. I puzzled over writing this letter for ages, hoping to find an answer for all of this that would tie a neat bow on everything, but I’ve come to the conclusion that I just don’t have one, not really. And, I’ve decided, that’s fine! So here’s to carrying on and allowing certain questions to remain unanswered for a while.
So ok! Hello! Glad we got that out of the way. It’s so nice to be in your midst again. And for such a wonderful occasion too--just the other day (December 2nd) was Brightness the album’s first birthday! And such FEELINGS I have about that! Particularly as I’m emerging from this emotional clusterfuck of a year. (Admittedly, I just listened to it last night for what I realized was the first time since it came out. . . like what? How did I let it go that long?) I was really afraid to listen to it again (bc damn putting out music is an inSANE exercise in vulnerability!) but I’m so glad I did. It made me feel warm and fuzzy and so immeasurably grateful for each person who contributed their talents to making it happen. And I thought back fondly on all of the touring I did this year, of all the people I met who connected with the music, and my gratitude redoubled and multiplied! My heart overflows--thank you so much for making this album a part of your life. It’s a very special part of mine, and I feel so fortunate to share that with you. Nothing I say here could ever be enough.
Which brings me to my next bit: there’s nothing like celebrating in person, is there? Take heed, folks of Boston! I’m so happy to share that on December 16, my friends at Juliet and I are reprising the full performance of Brightness that we put on last year. (In fact, we’ll probably be doing it every year, with each installment a bit different than the last.) I’ve been working really hard and scheming like mad to make this a really special night, retooling and reimagining lots of the album to meet me in this new place I’ve come to find myself. Many of the songs have evolved new arrangements and new aspects as they’ve traveled with me through this year, and I’m so excited to share them with you. And what better place to do so than the place this album calls home? I was posted up at Juliet nearly every day as many of these songs were writing themselves in the back of my mind, and later as I was there puzzling out string parts and production ideas over coffee when the record started taking shape. The songs are still resonating in that space, and they always will--you can hear them if you listen closely. And that’s something I want to offer you in this show: a profound and intimate connection with music that has perhaps grown to mean something to you over the year. It’s going to be a good one; I really hope you can make it. You can grab tickets here!
Well, I think I’ll turn off the faucet for now. I’m going to be sharing little bits of Brightness sunshine (which I guess is to say MEMORIES and such) over the week on my various sOciAL MeDiA pLaTfOrMs, so stay tuned for those if it floats your boat. Oh and I suppose I’m overdue to share a scrap of ephemera, so if you’re into it, here’s a playlist I made for my friend who I’m trying to get into the Beatles. I won’t lie to you, it’s a pretty sick playlist.
I hope you’re doing well, and would love to hear from you in whatever way you like. Sending you lots of warmth and encouragement as the end of the year comes around. Hope to hear from you soon.
PS IM WRITING ANOTHER ALBUM